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isn’t it like 3,000 hours of a person’s life is spent waiting in traffic? that’s about how many hours i spend playing solitaire. and the only reason i play so much solitaire is because i’m a fan of The Office. in fact, that may be the only reason…

speaking of The Office, if my office ever had an Office Olympics day, these would be the competitions:
1. Who’s the Mama?: how many extremely pregnant women can we fit in here at once? [3 is the number to beat]
2. Flappermouth: who can speak Mongolian the quickest? triple points if you use speedy Mongolian during a faculty meeting involving important information that even native speakers can’t catch.
3. Coat Rack: how many coats can fit on the rack before it topples over on Alissa as she is working? or playing solitaire.
4. Phraseology: how many awkward phrases [ie: bust you’re a** off] am i asked to explain on a daily basis?
5. What’s that smell?: is it someone’s lunch? BO? stale coffee? the men’s bathroom next door? the foreigner?
6. Share the Orange: how many ways can you divide an orange so everyone in the office can have a piece?** double points if you can feed 10 with a mandarin
7. HIYA!: 2 points and a ‘judo chop!’ every time a co-worker asks me: “are you related to Jean Claude?”



the end.




**culture note: Mongolians share stuff. so if you bring any food item into a room of Mongols (including wee mandarins), be prepared to share