thanksgiving

happy

turkey

day



gobble

gobble

poultry brain

can't write on blog. too busy dreaming about turkey.

two-for saturday

story I

today i had to buy an ink cartridge for my printer. the place to buy ink cartridges is in a building downtown named 'computer world.' you can generally find anything technology related there from cameras to copiers to (i'm pretty sure) computers. it's a trek to get to from my home - about an hour walk or 20 minute busride. i decided to walk since it was relatively nice out and i had eaten xushuur** for lunch and i already had to go downtown to meet some students.

however, much to my dismay - computer world no longer exists. after my hour long jaunt, i found it had completely disappeared and in its place was an empty shell of a building. d'oh! so, that's that i guess. hello amazon.com.

***
story II

in one of UBs larger and busier intersections, there was a fake crash site set up almost in the middle of traffic. it was like those kinds of things high schoolers do to teach about drunk driving: a severly bashed up vehicle is parked in a very public place and a few mangled people lay about covered in fake blood.

except in liu of a mangled person, this particular crash site had a guy dressed up as the grim reaper complete with ominous scythe. he was chatting aimiably with the police officers.

visual interest: check
extremely public setting: check
creepy, mythical being: check
irony of fake crash site meant to teach about safety actually being unsafe for drivers: check


i like it.






**xushuur: a popular mongolian food - it is essentially a fried pancake filled with mutton. much like beany mexican food, it stays with you all day long.

stop understanding me!

sometimes i wish no one in the world knew english except for native english speakers. sometimes i wish that english was about as useful outside its respective country as mongolian is outside of mongolia. why can't we all study chinese? or hindustani? population-wise, more people in the world speak those languages anyways. doesn't it seem wiser to speak the langauge of the highest population?

eh, well. i'm just upset because sometimes i don't want to be understood.

at least Cold Mountain isn't a musical

as i write this, my roommate is watching Cold Mountain and there is no where i can escape from it.

it's not that i dislike Cold Mountain. it's a decent movie as far as movies go. what i don't like is having to listen to it as i try to get work done (i don't dare sit in front of the tv or nothing would get done - i sit to the side). especially during the battle scenes where everyone is groaning and dying and blowing up and shooting. and the background music is a super intense drone. and nicole kidman and jude law are speaking in southern accents...ehhhh.

actually, what's worse than having to listen to Cold Mountian as i try to work is listening to Mama Mia! in German (because my roommate is a German gal).

oh, life. sometimes you're just flipping annoying.

this is how dollar stores make money

the prices of some things in mongolia completely baffles me. examples: toothpaste, dental floss, milk, anything plastic, in an aluminum can or from korea. these things cost too much. i don't like paying the equivalent of $3 for dental floss unless it's economy size and will last a year or two. items i would most likely find at a dollar tree store are at least 3 to 4 times more expensive here. and while that's uncool, i only pay $150 rent for a two bedroom apartment that has a decent view of the mountains and fairly reliable hot water/electricity.

is it very american of me to equate the value of something in monetary terms? i mean, cheap is cheap just as overpriced is overpriced, right?

whatever.

coat stink

someone ate at a restaurant for lunch because their coat smells like food. why am i smelling their coat? - because it's hanging behind me on the coat rack that's about to topple over. i dislike it when clothing smells like food, especially when mutton is involved - and in mongolia, mutton is always involved.

food stink on clothing reminds me of when i used to work at a restaurant in high school. those were mostly good times, but man i stunk! i smelled like a giant cheeseburger three or four days out of the week. that and windex because one of my jobs was to clean the windows after my shift. i was a walking windex-y meat sandwich.

bleh.


beware of food stink!

laugh

today i needed a laugh. like a stomach-ache-tear-inducing-hour-long-almost-too-painful kind of laugh. which i realize i have not had in....well, a very long time. unfortunately, i have yet to accomplish this. so maybe i can settle for now with a series of several smaller laughs. that i can share with you.

these are some things make me laugh:


Mr. Obvious Show long time listener, first time caller

Toothpastefordinner shave that unibrow!

Gap Girls lay off me i'm starving

Bill Cosby riiiight

Heavy Metal Band Names i know a guy named slayer...

Homestarrunner it's uncool now, but i don't care

Beards they have an organization!

Everyone Poops - the movie inside all of us...

Bohemian Rhapsody skalamoosh!

People falling down it's painful, but hilarious

Laughing it's contagious



ahhhh. good times, good times.

ooo yanaa!

that's what the mongolian lady passing me by said as i slipped on some ice and landed right on my tailbone. then she watched me get up, shaking her head and muttering something about how i should be more careful.

the first of many biffs to come this winter season.

joy.


...now my butt really hurts.

ugly pictures

today a co-worker was showing pictures of her 'fat days*' to us so we all could have a laugh at her. as she was pointing out her various flabs i thought, yeah! right on! way to be cool! because i know lots of grody pictures from my past i'd NEVER want to show anyone.

and then i thought -- it's so much better to purposely look hideous in pictures. some of the worst pictures of me are when i'm trying to look good in them. and some of the best (and most entertaining) are when i'm pulling a face or striking an unbecoming pose.

certianly there is a time and place to be normal and attempt looking that way, but being a freak can be so much more satisfying.

satisfy your freakiness. take ugly pictures.



*fat days for a mongolian woman means 64 kg or 140 pounds....

oh yeah

i forgot about this....